Wow. Just Wow.

A couple weeks ago I was back home, just for the weekend.  Friday night I went out to dinner with the parental unit.  They go out to dinner every Friday to the same place with the same group of friends (well, however many of them are available on the Friday in question)

This place is a local restaurant and has had a lot of issues and changes over the years.  It hit another massive low about a month ago, and was starting the upswing when I was there.  This story isn't about anything massive or disastrous.  It's about ranch dressing.

The ranch dressing they've served for years now was pretty awful.  We're talking the flavor of generic dressing 3 weeks past it's expiration date.  But if you dump a bunch of black pepper into it, it's at least edible.  Well, as we're sitting there eating, Bran Flake's friend sitting next to her had ordered a salad with ranch dressing... and Flake stopped mid-story and spun around and goes "wow, that dressing actually smells good!"  So she gets to talking to the lady that has taken over kitchen managerial duties, and asks if it's a new ranch dressing.  Manager lady goes "yep, I started making it myself" and Flake goes "I didn't know you could make ranch dressing"

W.
T.
F.

Where the hell does she think ranch dressing comes from?  Does she think it grows wild?  And they built a ranch in the Hidden Valley, where migrant workers harvest it for 4 cents a month?

not shown: migrant workers, reality

Seriously.  I really want to know where she thought it comes from.  

And to top it off, I was telling her about a friend's dad who had Alzheimer's really bad.  Really really bad.  And Flake's all "I need to figure out how to ward off Alzheimer's" and I said "use your brain.  No, seriously, exercise the gray matter.  Think, reason, learn, keep those synapses firing.  Best way to ward off Alzheimer's" and Flake, in all seriousness, goes "oh well then I'll be good because I'm learning all the time!"  Somehow that wasn't what I meant.  I should have emphasized the "reason" part.  And added "logic".  Flake has zero capabilities for logic.  And even if she does "learn" something (i.e., that you can make ranch dressing) she doesn't retain it.  I bet if I emailed her a recipe right now for making your own ranch dressing, she wouldn't have a clue why I was doing it because she's already forgotten the above event ever happened.  

P.S. I don't want anyone to be insulted by this post, if you hadn't previously considered the making of ranch dressing, don't take it personally.  Unless of course you would have, when presented with a recipe for ranch dressing, still not believed that it could be made.  Because it grows on trees in the Hidden Valley.