On a Wing and a Prayer

I usually like to listen to The Bob and Tom Show in the mornings.  Usually.  Somewhere around the 500th replay of the Camel Toe song (this week) it gets a bit monotonous, but for the most part I like it.  Okay so the overplay of that song was like 8 years ago, but bear with me.  (wait, I should clarify.  "I like it" meant the show, not the Camel Toe song.  fuck that)

Sometimes I get a bit huffy when they get on their high-horses about shit.  For instance, today they were talking about a story where someone (a person?  group?  I don't know) is suggesting "family sections" on airplanes.  I love this idea.  Kristi started in with the whole "NO!  You can't do that!  They can't do that.  Kids are wonderful!"  blah blah blah.  I'm in my car driving back from the grocery store and all I was getting so pissed off.  She may think that her kids are perfect and there are rainbows and unicorns and tra la la, but most kids are assholes.  (no offense if you have kids and they aren't assholes.  I'm making a sweeping generalization here)  (and for some reason I'm guessing her kids are assholes)

Front view, side view.  Two views.  Check!  No check, cash only (sorry, M*A*S*H quote there) 

Complete with Flying Cheerios in various degrees of mastication

And yes that's Designated Hitter in the first pic, reading a paper, ignoring me, with his elbow in my ribs

I hate flying

 The more I think about this, the more I like the family section idea.  And I have a way to put it into place.  Stick all the parents and kids at the back of the plane.  No wait, hear me out.  First of all, parents traveling with small children are allowed to board the plane first, right?  And when the rest of us uninteresting people board, we start at the back of the plane, right?  Well then we can kill two birds with one stone, and have the parents with the kids board the plane first and send their asses to the back.  Secondly, they'll be close to the bathroom.  There's a good plan.  Third, they're always such a pain in the ass when getting off the plane cuz they stand around forever packing up all the toys and games and crap and organizing their little anklebiters and slowing the rest of us down so if they're at the back of the plane, the rest of us can get off first while they're doing the repacking and whatnot.  And finally, the kids can just kick other kids' seats.  Or other parents (who would be completely oblivious to what their children were doing if they were sitting next to me)  

Now I realize it wouldn't block sound, so when they got to screaming we would all still hear it, but at least it would be from a bit of a distance instead of directly into my ear from point-blank range.  And maybe if bad parents were surrounded by other people's asshole children, they'd start to realize that their children are assholes too.  I doubt it, but it's worth a shot.  

I am totally in favor of family sections on airplanes.  Or maybe just don't ever make me fly anywhere again.  At least not commercial flights, my one experience on a private jet was freaking awesome.  Except that the private jet was owned by an asshole, but I tolerated him for the private flight to Cabo.  Totally worth it.  I should get my pilot's license and get a plane.  Oh if only I was independently wealthy.  *sigh*