And in the morning, I'm makin' waffles!

It's a good thing I have no desire to go into politics, because I'd get so much shit for being a waffler of epic proportions.  However I firmly believe that I am not really flipping sides so much as I am just one of those that is capable of seeing both sides of any argument.  I told the Designated Hitter tonight that I kinda think that there is a little lie in every truth and a little truth in every lie.  And then I proceeded to completely convince him that the sky is not blue.  And he believed me.

This was not the basis of my argument

You may be asking just exactly what my point is.  And if you know me, you know that's a stupid question because I have no idea what my point is.  No, wait, I do this time.  

I make fun of Hitter all the time for being a corporate stooge.  He loves the giant mega international corporation he works for, worships at the giant corporate altar, sometimes I think he likes the company more than he likes me.  He's a power-hungry, money-grubbing, corporate-ladder-climbing asshole.  And I've told him so, in those very words.  And whenever he gets all gooey lovey dovey about precious company, I always take the devil's advocate approach and point out the other side of the argument.  And then today, I actually defended the evil giant because someone I know went way out in left field and was making completely unfounded accusations against said company.  Hitter got home from work tonight and the first words I said to him were "I feel like such a whore" 

So, yeah.  I seem to waffle.  Or maybe I'm a hypocrite.  Wonderful, now I can't even make up my mind as to what exactly is wrong with me.  WTF?  One minute I hate belovedest corporation, the next I'm defending it.  But it just all depends on the argument being presented to me.  Because I see both sides of every argument, and I seem to be surrounded by people who are black-and-white thinkers.  (I think I mixed metaphors there.  I see colors?  I'm surrounded by one-side-viewing people?  You know what I mean!) 

And I may be a whore.

But at least I never got paid for all my random sex!

You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor

Back in my late-teens, there was a guy I was interested in.  He was into the rodeo thing and one time during our senior year he lassoed me in the high school parking lot.  Let's call him Roper.  Some day I may tell the whole Roper story but it's way too long to go into right now.  Anyway, after a year and a half of alternatingly one of us wanting the other but the other being unavailable, we were finally single at the same time.  We made plans to go out on a first date together.  I made the mistake of admitting to Designated Drinker and Bran Flake who I was going out with that night (it was after I had moved out to go to college, but was back home over Thanksgiving) and I am not even kidding you they sat me down and said that they didn't want me to go out with him because afterward I would leave the state again and leave them at home to have to deal with how it would look to everyone else in town.  Seriously.  This guy wasn't a serial killer, his family was normal, no criminals or dirt bags or anything.  Just another normal small-town farming family.  Roper and I were just planning to go to dinner and then go home. 

How did I respond to this attitude from them? I told Roper to find a dirt road and

for 3 hours.

And it was good.  And we did it again over Christmas break.  Twice.  We never did really "date" in the sense of being in a relationship.  We just had a one night stand, in triplicate.

I have thousands of other stories of how I rebelled against them, but that one's my favorite.   Buffalo Bill also has the same rebellious attitude... whenever the parental unit pushes either of us, we push back.  And now we have gotten so used to pushing back, that we do it with others too.  As I mentioned a couple posts ago, Buffalo Bill and Prom Queen are currently separated.  One of the big problems they have is that she is extremely needy and insecure.  He will be out working on the farm, and she will call him on his phone like every 15 minutes "Where are you?  What are you doing?  Who else is there?  Why aren't you back inside yet?  It only took you an hour yesterday to do this, why is it taking you an hour and a half today?  You need to hurry up and get back in here, I don't trust you.  Are you SURE there isn't anyone else out there with you?  Are you REALLY still on the farm?"  And how did Buffalo respond to this pressure?  By leaving the farm and finding himself a female friend.

I was telling Designated Hitter about all this the other night (the part about my brother, not the part about Roper) and when I commented on Buffalo Bill's rebellion to Prom Queen's pressure, Designated Hitter goes "wow you two really are related!"  Not that I've ever cheated, but he is fully aware that I don't take well to being told what to do. 

This post ended up a lot more about sex than I thought it would!  This was just an intro to my deviant ways... there will be more coming in the future.