Two Days: Gone

I officially need something to do with my life.  I have spent most of the last two days doing the following:

1. Watching old Doctor Who reruns.  And new Doctor Who reruns.  And realizing that Doctor Who is totally Barty Crouch Jr.  That last one kinda sucks, really.  Cuz Doctor Who is awesome, and Barty Crouch Jr. was a complete asshole. 

2. Watching Eagle Cam.  Up in Decorah Iowa there is a fish hatchery.  Right near the fish hatchery, there is a bald eagle nest.  Some people who might be bigger nerds than I am (I say that with the utmost of love and respect... I adore nerds) have put two webcams up watching this eagle nest.  It streams, live, 24 hours a day (one of the cameras is infrared equipped for when the sun goes down) at http://www.raptorresource.org/ and there are a whole bunch of us dorks with nothing better to do than watch these eagles try to make a comfy nest in the middle of the ice and snow. 

Apparently it's still freaking cold in Decorah Iowa. 

When the nest is covered in snow, it kind of looks like a powdered sugar topped funnel cake.  NOW I WANT A FUNNEL CAKE, DAMMIT!  It looked like that this morning, but mama and daddy eagle have been working on the nest and now it mostly looks like a nest again.  This is halfway through the re-nesting.  It's even more cozy now. 

Speaking of nest, that thing weighs 1.5 tons.  TONS!  It's 6 feet in diameter.  And it's actually kind of a smallish, newer nest.  They just started this nest in 2007... the previous nest fell out of the tree when a branch broke in a windstorm.  Don't stand under it in a wind storm. 

Speaking of things to not stand under... today daddy eagle brought mama eagle a dove for lunch.  After mama had her fill, well, don't stand under the eagle! 

not shown: eagle poop

One of the cameras is fixed, the other can be manually operated.  The operator can pan around (i.e. the poop image above) and he can zoom in.  At one point I'm pretty sure daddy eagle looked me square in the eyes and saw all the way through to my heathen unpatriotic soul. 

At the peak of nest-building and camera-operating, the viewer count climbed over 1200. 

Meanwhile, I sit here watching it and the size of my ass also goes over 1200...  or something like that.  I should get up and do something productive with my day, especially now that the eagles are off doing something with their day. 



*All images are screengrabs I took while watching the video.  Credit goes to http://www.raptorresource.org/ go and give them advertising dollars or something. 

P.S. I didn't turn the computer off in time.  They both just showed up for some more nest building.  They're getting close to egg-laying time!  Oooh and daddy brought lunch!  Which led to a fight.  C'mon daddy, let mama eat... she's gotta make eggs. 

P.S.again if you do go watch eagle cam, be prepared for bloody lunch.  The circle of life is shown.  And eagle poop. 

I need a hobby.  Or a job.  Or a life. 

God wants me to be rich, Part 2

Remember when the fates were giving me money?  It's happening again.  Well, the fates are trying, but MasterCard might be resisting. 

MasterCard is an asshole.

Clear back in December, I had just received the next two DVDs in my Netflix queue and I went to pop them into the DVD player in the living room and watch......

Wait, I need to give some background.  I'm a tightwad.  Sometimes.  I mean I had to get a camper and a brand new car and a smart phone and a laptop and a swimming pool and an acreage and new office furniture and my shiny new KitchenAid and... and... and... other stuff.  But by gosh and by golly I do NOT need to be spending $35 on a cheap little DVD player for the living room, because we have a portable take-along-in-the-car DVD player that has cables to use with a regular TV too if you want to.  And that's good enough for me! 

I may be a hypocrite.

So this portable DVD player doesn't just have a tray you drop the DVD onto, it has that little spindle thing that the DVD snaps onto. 

And nothing happened.  The DVD wouldn't play.  Wouldn't even get to the menu, much less actually play the movie.  So I opened it up to take the DVD out and check for scratches or dirt or whatever, which is a pretty common issue with Netflix.....

Discs snapped in half are not so common.  *sigh*  So I get out the other movie, checked it to make sure it wasn't broken before putting it in, stuck it into the DVD player, pushed play... and.....

*sigh*

Cracked that DVD too. 

At this point I was left with a moral dilemma.  Do I just stuff the DVDs back into the envelopes and ship 'em, hoping Netflix thinks they broke in the mail? Or do I not be a big fat jerk, and actually 'fess up to the fact that I broke them? 

I tried to be an asshole.  I really did.  I had gone so far as to put them back into their envelopes and seal it all up, and had them sitting on the TV cabinet waiting to go out in the mail.  But then the goody-two-shoes inside me took over and was all "that's just not right" so I got on the Netflix website and clicked on the "I lost or broke a DVD" button... twice... and they charged me like $30 for the two movies.  But at least I still had my soul...

Fast forward to last week.  We're having the Winter Storm of the Century (aka Snowpocalypse, aka Blizzargeddon) and we get a phone call from MasterCard asking if I was off making hundred dollar purchases at 4 different pharmacies that day.  Kudos to our credit card company for calling immediately (unlike fucking Citi Card and their shitty fraud detection unit... but that's a post for another day) so we got my card canceled and they're issuing me a new one. 

Fast forward to yesterday.  I've had two other movies out for like two weeks now... which is a stupid giant waste of money... and I need to go run some errands anyway, so I plan to take the two movies along and stuff them in the nearest blue box.  I grab two red Netflix envelopes from the top of the TV and head out the door.  Then last night I'm sorting through my mail... and find a Netflix envelope.  Hmm...  Did I mail back the Wii disc? 

Then this morning I open my email. 

I had mailed back the broken DVDs... that I had already admitted to breaking...

AND NETFLIX REFUNDED MY MONEY!

To the credit card that was emergency-closed last week.

I'm not entirely sure I'll ever see this money, but God wants me to be rich.  And that makes me happy.

P.S. Now I need to find where that other movie is...  and I'm clueless.

Meppy Birthmas To Me!

Meppy Birthmas is way better than Harry Christday, no?

Last year I told all of my family and all of Hitter's family that all I wanted for my birthday and for Christmas was Kohl's gift cards (no this is not a paid advertisement)  Hitter had an old cheap stand mixer from long before we got married, and I've been getting progressively more annoyed with it as it proves time and again it just isn't up to the kind of abuse I like to throw at it.

I apparently make frosting out of concrete

I NEED a KitchenAid (also not a paid advertisement) and come hell or high water, I will get one!  I knew I couldn't just ask for one for Christmas, they're a bit much for my family's gift-giving budget.  And they're way too freaking much for Hitter's family's gift-giving budget.  But I still needed to give everyone a wish list, and I  only wanted a KitchenAid.  That's when I had the brainstorm.  

Today was the day.  I stacked up my cute little gift cards, I had Hitter's Kohl's charge card in hand (I don't have one), Kohl's is offering free shipping, and KitchenAids were on sale.  So much on sale that I splurged on the big honkin Professional one.  Okay time to do some math:

Regular price Professional KitchenAid: $500

Regular price Artisan KitchenAid: $360

(yes that's a pretty big difference, and until I saw the sale I was all prepared to just get the Artisan)

Sale price Professional KitchenAid: $399

Use of Hitter's Kohl's card = 15% off

Sale price Professional KitchenAid and 15% off: $339
(before you question my statistics, yes the Artisan was also on sale but dammit if there's anything I've learned from being a scientist it's that you can make the data prove any point you want it to!)

Professional it is!  And even though I was a bit afraid of looking like it's Christmas every day in my green kitchen with a red mixer, I had to get the red one.  I wasn't crazy about the shade of blue, don't want black, and really didn't like either of the gray-ish ones.  Plus I love red.  

It's ordered.  It should be here next week.  I am planning all sorts of things to make once it gets here.  Mmmmmmmm homemade bread!

Oh, but I had 5 gift cards and you can only use 4 at a time on Kohl's website.  So I saved one back (the smallest one) (smallest dollar amount.  they're all the same size cards) (you probably could have figured that out on your own) and since that was my first online purchase from Kohl's they emailed me a 10% off coupon on my next online order.  I will use that and the last gift card for some accessories soon.   

Then I went to the grocery store, and the little coupon machine at the register spit out a "$5 off your next visit" coupon.  I'm being rewarded for spending money.  Life is good!  Hitter should probably be afraid.  I might spend all his money if I'm going to keep being rewarded for it.  Did I mention I got a free camera too?  A free camera that's worth $500.  I am awesome.  

I think I'll go to the casino. 

Twuhnnyleven: The Year of the Redneck

Actually, it's supposed to be 2011: A Year in Pictures.  But I keep pronouncing 2011 "twuhnnyleven" which strikes me as a bit redneck.

I have a project for myself this year.  No resolutions, I hate resolutions.  A guy I know posted on his Facebook page today "Every new year people make resolutions to change aspects of themselves they believe are negative. This year just be yourself" and I love that.  Of course I really don't like him that much cuz he's a Longhorns fan, but what can ya do...  

Maybe I should make a resolution to stay on-topic.

Project.  Photos.  Twuhnnyleven.  Right.....  This idea has been pinging around inside my brain for a while now but I'm sometimes a little slow on the uptake.  Plus we currently only have a giant honking dSLR camera with a couple lenses and a big-ass bag to carry it around in, which is incredibly inconvenient for random pictures.  Now I've gotten ahead of myself.

The project is to take at least one picture every day.  Some pictures may be important and meaningful, some will be random and weird.  There will be beautiful pieces of art, and there will be odd snapshots. Some will preserve memories, some I'll look back on and be all "what the fuck, me?"

Like I said two paragraphs ago, and way ahead of its time, I've been ignoring this idea because of the annoyance of always hauling around Designated Hitter's stupid purchase.  Don't get me wrong, as I'm learning how to REALLY use the camera I am falling in love with it.  But he uses it like a point-and-shoot so it's a giant waste of $1000.  Actually probably $1500 after he bought the second lens and other accessories.  And I want to buy more... another lens or two, a new tripod, sheesh I'm high maintenance!  I'm finally studying up on all the fancy things that bad boy can do.  Tee hee!  (if anyone's curious, it's a Nikon D50.  It has a few years on it now, and it's nowhere near high-end dSLR, but it's way more than Hitter needs and is becoming just about exactly something I love)  But anyway, we have a crapload of rewards points from a credit card so I'm going to use them to get a shiny new point-and-shoot that I can just shove in my purse and have it with me all the time.  I'll still use both cameras throughout the year, but the new one will allow me to take pictures more frequently and in places other than home.  

I'm not going to post them all on here.  Especially anything that's very identifying... still trying to maintain a touch of anonymity.  I haven't decided exactly where to stick them yet, I have an old picturetrail account where I'll probably at least start, but there's a limit on how much you can put on there without paying for the account (and I am kind of a tightwad, at least about some things) so I'm sure at some point I'll end up on flickr or something like that.  Not that big a fan of the flickr design though.  Hmm...  

Anyway, here's my January 1 picture!  This was taken this morning, a normal sunrise was going on behind some very interesting clouds.  

This size doesn't really do the picture justice.  But you still get the effect the clouds were giving.  

I'll get back to you on how I make this a redneck year... 

It's all pink...

Disclaimer: I am not intending to, in any way, diminish the seriousness of breast cancer or suggest that we shouldn't be aware of it.  Read on...

I've had it with all things Pink.  I refused to participate in those stupid little "let's make the men wonder what the hell we're talking about" games on Facebook that have very little to do with preventing or treating cancer (at least this year's... last year's was at least about bras.  but this year... seriously... purses?  my favorite was "I don't carry a purse, but I like to fuck in the shower") but aside from random childishness, what really pisses me off is that breast cancer awareness gets SOOOOOO much attention, and other very real causes get practically nothing.

Did you know that October is also Domestic Violence Awareness month?  I don't see everything being covered in bruise-covered ribbons (oooooh I'm going to hell for that one) Why is it everyone's so worried about the boobies but nobody seems to care about the fact that 1 in 4 people will be a victim of domestic violence at some point in their life? 

A couple years ago, I heard a rumor that some St Louians were trying to get the powers-that-be to light up the Arch with pink lights in October.  Why stop there, why not put a nipple on it?!

I would say they should build a second St Louis Boob, but it is cancer awareness after all...

Nobody ever suggested lighting up landmarks in recognition of the rampant drug problem in Missouri, the meth capital of the country.  

What finally put me over the edge though, was last Sunday when I flipped to an NFL game briefly.  I do not follow the NFL at all, which comes as a huge surprise to people who know how obsessed I am with college football.  Imagine my surprise when I saw all these big burly testosterone-overloaded men prancing around the gridiron with pink shoes and pink arm bands and whatnot.  Seriously.  Why is the NFL so into breast cancer awareness, but you never see them getting all excited about prostate cancer awareness?  (would that be a brown ribbon?!)  1. the NFL is watched by way more men than women, and 2. I'm pretty sure there are a hell of a lot more women feeling their chests for errant lumps than there are men shoving fingers up their asses to see if their prostate is still normal.

*image deleted  

Shouldn't we be promoting men's health on an event where men are the captive audience?  Like men need any more excuses to be grabbing our chests.  *sigh*  

Oooooh I know, maybe they should do Testicular Cancer Awareness... 

hee hee... balls... blue ribbon...

Like I said, I am not against the prevention and treatment of breast cancer.  I just think it sucks that some marketing genius has managed to take the Pink movement to pop-star status, while so many other serious concerns are completely ignored.   

Oh, giant squirrel balls reminded me: In case anyone is keeping score, the final tally of dead squirrels in the pool for 2010 was 8.   Five fished out of the skimmer basket, two free-floating on the surface of the water, and one had sunk to the bottom.  They've all been removed and chucked into the woods, and the pool has now been winterized..... thank goodness!

The Ultimate in One-Stop-Shopping

Designated Hitter and I are on vacation this week.  Fishing vacation.  Last night we went for a little drive, and I was super pissed I didn't have the camera along because I saw this sign:

That's the best Dairy Queen ever.  Food, ice cream, booze, and bait.

So get this.  We're staying in this little bitty cabin that was built in the 19-teens.  The doors and windows don't really line up with the door/window frames anymore.  I was trying to lock the door but broke the key off in the lock because of how much the door doesn't line up anymore.  When it rains we just kind of pull the windows towards the cabin but they don't actually close all the way.  Plus the glass is all warpy too.  And there's a total funhouse mirror in the bedroom.  It makes me look like a retarded midget.  I'm probably going to hell for saying "retarded midget" but that's okay with me.  Anyway, back to the cabin.  The floor slopes in a lot of different directions.  No air conditioning, no tv.  We do have electricity thank goodness.  And running water.  A real kitchen and a functional indoor bathroom and everything.  But that's kind of the end of the amenities.  Except we have wi-fi.  I love the digital age.

And a bug bit me on the foot and I'm pretty sure I'm dying.  The bite area swelled up as big around as a silver dollar, and it doesn't just itch - it hurts!  And it's turning purple.  I think I have blood poisoning.  Two nights ago I was laying in bed sweating, wondering if I was dying.  Then I remembered it was like 85 degrees out and humid and we have no air conditioning.  Hitter thinks I'm a hypochondriac.  Okay so I am, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't be sympathetic when my foot turns gangrene and has to be cut off. 

Only a few more days in the north woods, then back to reality.  *sigh*

M'Lady, your chariot awaits

It's MINE!  All mine!!!!!!!  Yep it's official today, my lawn mower is paid off!

(not shown: mud, nail in tire, yard, dull blades, me)

I love my mower.  It even has a cupholder.

(added: me, beer)

Two years ago, Muppy got a present: a 3 acre yard to run around.  That obviously led to needing a riding mower.  A few months later, one of Designated Hitter's co-workers asked him how he liked the Cub Cadet mower, and he replies "I don't know, she won't let me ride it" and he wasn't lying!  I bet he's only used it 3 times total in the last two years... and we live in a freaking rainforest.  I usually have to mow twice a week if the weather cooperates, and start mowing in March (maybe even once in February), sometimes don't quit until November...

Have I mentioned I love my mower?

It's magical too.  Or at least there is magic that surrounds it.  Every time I get ready to mow, I discover that it's full of gas again!  I think there's a Gas Fairy.  Take that however you want.  The weird thing is every time I look to the sky and say "Thank you, Gas Fairy" the Designated Hitter says "you're welcome".  Who is he fooling?  I know it's magic.

I wish I could honor this occasion by mowing today, but the weather isn't being agreeable.